Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
