the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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