just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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