I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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