There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
