Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
