You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This girl is more easily done than said...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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