So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
