there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
