We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
