I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
