I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
