you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The struggles of a small town man whore
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
