just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
