so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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