apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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