bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
