Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
A bitchslap is in order.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
