I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
