i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
