Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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