I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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