I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
