She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
