well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
