It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
