My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
