her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
