I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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