god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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