Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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