nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
