MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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