All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
