the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
