I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
