My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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