goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
