Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im holly from the hills drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
