its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
