I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
