gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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