Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
