Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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