Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
