Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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