they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
