Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
