I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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