I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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