Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Someone signed my nipple.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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