How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
